Poseidon
is the god of oceans and earthquakes. He controls all waters, has his own
underwater palace, a wife, and many children. Yet, like all gods, Poseidon gets
bored easily. Amphitrite, his wife, was okay, but she was just a Nereid, and
ever since she experienced Mountain Dew, she’s been a little crazy. So Poseidon
went hunting for something- or someone new.
He rose up out of the sea and morphed into a hawk, where he could look for something that will attract his attention. Looking down on the Earth, Poseidon saw mortal girls shopping, wind spirits singing, and water nymphs gossiping. Looking up at the heavens, he saw Hera, Aphrodite, Artemis, and Demeter sitting on
Which
goddess is worthy enough for me? Poseidon
thought. Hera is married to Zeus,
ignorant, full of herself, always mad, always complaining, and always jealous of everyone (yes,
I agree, she’s got lots of problems. I don’t know why Zeus married her).
Aphrodite’s good looking and blonde, but she’s so bossy and also full of herself. Artemis
isn’t in a relationship, and never will be.
So that leaves Demeter. She’s single and
nice. Harvesting crops didn’t sound to exiting, and I know nothing about
agriculture, but she’s available. Poseidon flew to Mount Olympus ,
and hid where Demeter couldn’t see him. Then he caused a small earthquake
(being the god of earthquakes, and all) and watched the goddesses, hoping they
would move.
Hera
and Aphrodite stopped talking. Then, “What, in Zeus’s tunic, was that?” Hera
asked.
“An earthquake, you genius. Ever felt the
heavens shake? You should
know: you’re so clumsy that every time you move, all the clouds get messed up
in my hair.”
“Oh,
yeah? You’re one to talk! You were born from pieces of Uranus and sea foam, and
even older than my father, Cronus!”
“You’re
always trying to get rid of anyone who is prettier or smarter than you- and that’s everyone! - because you think
that you know everything, and can’t stand anyone who’s better than you!”
Aphrodite shouted.
“You
do that too!”
It
went on like that for a while. Poseidon thought, time for more power! And created a slight hurricane.
“What’s
Poseidon up to now?” Aphrodite asked.
“Making
sure that no one else gets born from his sea foam,” Hera muttered. Artemis
rolled her eyes. “What? That’s probably
what he’s doing!”
“You’re
just jealous Aphrodite’s prettier than you,” Artemis challenged. “And don’t
argue with me! She the goddess of love
and beauty. You’re the goddess of what? Housing and marriage. And cows. Who
cares about that?”
Well, they’re not leaving, Poseidon thought. Especially
now that Artemis has
joined the fight.
“You
two just need to stop fighting, and consider each other,” Artemis said, calmly.
“Hera is the goddess of marriage and cows, and Aphrodite is the goddess of
love and beauty. Can’t change that.”
“You
know what I can change, Artemis? The
shape of your face, after I pound it in!”
“Lay
off of her Hera! She’s just a girl,” noted Aphrodite.
I’ll just have to bring Demeter
to me, he thought. Demeter
had been sitting quietly, minding her own business. She knew not to get in Hera
and Aphrodite’s way when they were having a fight.
“You
know what?” chirped Hera. “I think that you’re all jealous of me!”
“What!
No one even likes you!
“You
back-stabbing, ugly little-“
And I know exactly how! He summoned the winds and slowly, blew one of
Demeter’s flower baskets away, toward the woods. He was sure she would follow.
“What
the...” she said, and went after her basket. Poseidon blew the basket to behind
the tree, where he was hiding. Even
though it was far away from Hera, Aphrodite, and Artemis, he could still
slightly hear them shouting at each other.
When Demeter was in the position where Poseidon
wanted her to be, he stepped out from the shadows, and revealed himself. “Hello
Demeter. You look lovely today.” Demeter was startled, but spotted Poseidon, and
relaxed.
“Oh, hello Poseidon.” Shouldn’t you be in your
underwater realm and trying to stop your wife from giving Red Bull to any fish
she sees?”
“She’s sleeping,” he said, lying through his teeth.
“So, I was just passing through here.”
“Uh huh. Well I was just looking for my flower
basket. I think it blew over here. Have you seen it?”
“You mean this
one?” He held up the basket.
“Yes, thank you.” Demeter took the basket from him.
She turned to leave.
“Wait, I was thinking. You’re single, and I’m...
available, and I need a new… person in my life and-.”
“You’re married, Poseidon.”
“Well… still. What do you want? I can get you
pearls, jewels, gold, anything.
Darn, Demeter thought. This guy is just
like Zeus. Changing from one relationship to another. I need a serious man in
my life, not powerful, like Zeus or Poseidon, but mature! One that will marry me, and not have other relations
with other girls, no matter how
hot they are!
These gods sure aren’t like that!
Once they see someone young and pretty, it’s ditch-the-wife-and-pretend-you’re-not-seeing-anyone-else!
I know; I’ve watched Hera. And this is why she’s so angry all the time. I don’t
want to end up like that! I’m always quiet because I don’t want to get
involved with anyone just to be crushed, like Zeus did to me. The only reason
that Hera is still with Zeus, is because she knows she won’t get any other guy
from her reputation!
I’m definitely not hooking up
with Poseidon. He’s trying to bribe me with gold and pearls. I don’t need
anything except simple clothes and food. I need to get him off of this subject
and distract him.
Demeter pretended to think. “Hmm…well… you know
what I would want? I want you to create the most beautiful animal that has ever walked the earth! One that won’t eat
other animals, (ugh! Every animal should be vegetarian!) and one that is peaceful and
kind.” That should distract him!
“Sure!” said Poseidon. How hard can it be? “I’ll get right to work.” He jumped off of Mount Olympus
and dove in the water where he could think more.
Poseidon’s first thought was to create a small
fish. It would have vivid colors, like red, orange, and gold! She would love that! It’ll have a curvy tail and snout, not like any other fish in this ocean!
When Poseidon was finally done, he put the creature
in a small clear tank filled with water, and brought it to Olympus
for Demeter to see. He found her still weaving. “Look here! I’ve created an
animal that has great beauty, and doesn’t eat meat! It is called a…hippocampus!”
Demeter saw it, and agreed that the hippocampus was
very exquisite indeed. But to get Poseidon to work harder, she said “It is
very pretty, but it is too small, and the name is too long. Try again.”
Poseidon wasn’t discouraged. He let the hippocampus
stay in the ocean, even though Demeter didn’t want it. It was so small and
peaceful that it couldn’t create any harm. Then he got to work, again. This
time, he created a much larger land animal that will eat tree leaves and grass.
For the beauty, it will have brown spots all over its body.
When he was done, Poseidon brought the animal to
Demeter. He couldn’t present it in a tank because it was so big! Instead, he
let it float next to him on the way to Olympus .
Demeter was shocked. A very large creature had just been laid in front of her. “What’s that?!” she gasped.
“This,” announced Poseidon “Is a giraffe! The most
beautiful animal in the world! It eats grass and tree leaves. It’s completely harmless.”
“Uh huh.” Demeter didn’t think so. “But this is a
little…too big. And I don’t like the brown spots on it.”
Poseidon sighed. “Okay. I’ll try a new approach.” Liking the giraffe, and not wanting
to destroy it, Poseidon brought the new animal to a continent that had plenty
of grass and trees. When he got to Africa , he
created another giraffe, but this one was female. And Poseidon let the giraffes
live peacefully in Africa .
I’ll make another animal that is
like the giraffe, but like Demeter said, it’ll be smaller and not have spots.
Instead it’ll have… stripes! Black stripes and a white body. It’ll also live in
Africa , along the mortals. I don’t know why
Demeter didn’t believe me when I said the giraffe was harmless. All it does is
eat and sleep. So
Poseidon got to work, once again.
The new animal had a snout similar to the giraffe
and hippocampus, but had a shorter neck than the giraffe, and less vivid colors
than the hippocampus. It was pretty much the same thing as the giraffe, except
it had the qualities that Demeter wanted.
“I will call you zebra. And if Demeter doesn’t like
you, I’ll put you in Africa with the giraffe.”
Again, Poseidon brought Demeter his new creation. “I give you the zebra.” He
said when he found her.
“Oh! That… that’s a nice looking creature. But I
don’t like the stripes. Just leave the animal plain. And have different
colors.” With that, she disappeared before Poseidon could say anything to her.
Poseidon was tired of all the imperfections he was
making. He decided to try one more time, and then just leave the animal like it
is, no matter what Demeter thought.
The animal he had in mind was plain in beauty,
going to have different matte colors, and a lot like a zebra. He created five
different colored ones: black, grey, white, chestnut, and honey. The creatures
were all muscular, had wavy manes, and straight tails. They looked like they
could hurt you, but Poseidon created their strength and stamina for helping
mortals in their farm work.
For the last time, Poseidon rose up to the heavens
with five strong and beautiful animals next to him. Then he found Demeter
sitting in her flower garden.
When she saw
Poseidon, she thought, this guy never gives up, does he?
He needs something better to do with his time, like controlling the seas,
making sure nothing happens. I bet Amphitrite has been in charge the past week.
Has he even looked at the water since? It’s polluted with used Coke and Sprite
cans. After this new animal, I’m just going to tell him to back off and spend
more time with his wife!
But Demeter never did tell Poseidon anything,
because she was speechless. Five of the most beautiful animals had just trotted
up to her, followed by Poseidon, grinning. “Five colors, five beauties. These
are horses, give of take. It’s my last offer.”
Demeter could have easily said that she hated them,
and never have to deal with Poseidon again, but she was honest. “These mammals are the most beautiful animals in the
world. Great job, Poseidon.” She then turned into a white mare, and galloped
away. Poseidon transformed into a black stallion, and followed her.
A few weeks later, Demeter gave birth to the
immortal horse, Arion, the fastest horse in the world, and Despoine, the
goddess of mysteries. Poseidon had gotten his wish, and Demeter had hers. He
sent pairs of horses all around the world, to work with mortals, and also to
live in the wild.
He then decided that the hippocampus should be
called a sea horse, instead, because it resembled a horse, but was a fish. So
the horse would be recognized on land and in the sea. All around, mortals and
gods saw the horse for its beauty, strength, and gentleness. They also now see
Poseidon as King of the Seas, Bringer of Earthquakes, and the Father of Horses.